It's all out there, anything you want.

After a walk round the streets of District 1 in the blistering heat having walked in and straight out of a huge indoor market (too claustrophobic and too many people hassling us) we popped into a Starbucks to take stock.

The iced caramel frappe was a cooling relief, plus they had wifi, everywhere has wifi in Asia, as we made plans for the next day. We decided to make Thursday the museum and sightseeing day and perhaps on that first night just chill out around the streets.

On making it back to Bui Vien we had a flyer for a massage parlour thrust into our hands. We read it over a cold beer and a wine for Lynn and decided we would give it a try, only if just to get about eight years worth of bad skin off my feet. (The trials and tribulations of being a pub landlord).

The massage shop was actually in our alley and I had a great foot and heel scrape (from Nikki) plus the all important foot massage - it literally did take years off my feet. The cost for that and Lynn's pedicure and manicure - £7. 

Setting out on the mission of discovering our district by night proved to be impossible, there was enough to to do and see on the street. We were accosted at one point by three street greeters for three eateries, we weren't actually all that hungry and chose the Roof Garden. A waiter escorted us to the roof garden dining area and we ordered two for one cocktails (every place was offering the same). The food looked good so we ordered three appetisers to keep us going whilst first of all the manager and then a waiter tested out their English on us. They were both very friendly people with the waiter actually explaining to us his favourite singer is... Shane Ward. Not many would own up to that back home, Sadly he was another Liverpool fan - he'd never heard of Morecambe.

We finished up the night in our newly claimed local, the Champions Sport Bar. I got talking to a bunch of Aussies from Perth which is where we were planning to be in mid April. They advised us to take a cheap flight out of Kuala Lumpur, great having some local knowledge available to you. The added bonus of being in that particular bar was the fact they were showing the England v New Zealand T20 cricket, I could josh the Aussies for once - they had been knocked out.

On reflection we realised our street was a microcosm for the whole of Saigon if not the country itself. You can buy anything - a hotel room: coffee: alcohol: dentistry: a flight: a tour: groceries: a meal: a woman!: a hat: flowers: a massage. In fact, put it this way, probably anything. You don't really need to be anywhere else.

The next day (Thursday 31st Mar) after a hearty breakfast in Champions we hailed a taxi to take us to the War Remnants Museum. It was closed! The problem with most public museums in Vietnam is they all close for lunch. To be honest it was open but we'd only have had 45 minutes to get around it, we decided to go for a walk.

We were actually in District 3, a more commercial part of the city but it was interesting seeing how the people went about their lunchtime. School kids were doing what all kids did at lunch, finding street corner eateries, but more well behaved. Old men were playing draughts on a street corner. Office workers were eating on the street or using some of the trendy bars and cafes that have sprung up around this district. It wasn't a place you'd see too many tourists.

After spending a few road intersections dodging the traffic we ended up going for a cold drink in the MTV Coffee bar, choosing to sit on the terrace to watch the world drive by; it was also the best place to experience being sprayed by fine cold mist from the awning.

This actually was the MTV studio cafe. Inside it looked and sounded like a disco was going on (at midday), stage dancers were trying to keep in time to loud club music being belted out by a woman DJ with the best boob job this side of the Mekong Delta.

Over the road lots of office workers were eating from a street food cart. Well, they were until the police came along and raided it. We didn't know what the reason was for the raid, nobody was arrested but all the tables and chairs were confiscated and turfed into the back of a police pick up truck. Well, all the chairs less those a member of the staff managed to pick up and run away to safety with - another typical day on the streets of Saigon!

It was getting close to 1.30 and we walked slowly back to the museum, unaware we would both be leaving  a few hours later with a different attitude to the Vietnam War.

Our alleyway got busy at night with diners.

Our bar was in spitting distance from our balcony

It always looks better at night

I broke off and bought myself a hat!

"Cigarettes Sir"

Are you sitting comfortably?...

...not now, unfortunately!

A cool place to chill, listen to music and watch police raids.

The heat is on in Saigon!

Our taxi was on time as we said goodbye to the night porter at St Pauls Hotel in Nha Trang at 5.30 in the morning, about the same time as most of the local population, who, were conducting their morning exercises. 

Our parting view of the sea from the hills above the resort was of a beautiful sunrise, a route that took us past many new resorts and hotels in the process of being built. Like Da Nang further north, this place looks like it will be a Mecca for tourists in a few years. At the airport it was apparent there were many booked onto our flight to Ho Chi Min City, the check in queue was very busy.

We finally dropped off the backpacks and went for a coffee, avoiding the lure of buying frozen squid from the freezer as an after thought.

The flight was only 55 mins, (it alleviated the need to spend another 9 hours on a train) and ensured we arrived in Saigon ( Oops?) in time to dump our bags and get out and about). A taxi was $10 and we were  efficiently guided to our driver and soon on our way from the domestic terminal. It was 8.30am and the temperature was hovering at 30 degrees celcius - the "heat" most definitely was "on in Saigon."

Unlike Hanoi where you have a 30 min drive into the city via the motorway and the biggest market garden you'll ever see, The road out of Tan Son Nhat Airport dumps you straight into the jostling, hi-octane traffic of a city definitely on the move. Cars seem to be in the minority as the scooters and motorcycles swarm round you like a squadron of mosquitos - how anyone isn't hit, or worse is beyond me. Still, our driver seems to know what he's doing and soon we are driving along tree lined boulevards and some of the sights we would get to see during the next few days. We were looking out with expectancy at some of the nice hotels that flanked our route further into the city - surely we would be there soon?

Discarding the high rise and glass towers around us (we wouldn't be stopping in anything that opulent) and clocking our first MacDonalds in Vietnam we were driven down a narrow street: Bui Vien. I was scanning for the name of our guesthouse (noticing lots of grungy looking backpackers in the general vicinity) but couldn't see it. Our driver stopped, pointed to an alley and heaved our gear out of the boot of the taxi, the fare was pre-paid so he scarpered off like nobody's business and we were left on the street pondering on where the hell our digs were.

The driver had not made a mistake, it dawned on us the reason we were only paying a fiver a night each was due to the reason the area was predominately backpackers territory. Ok, I know we said before we left England we would be backpacking on a pension and so far on our travels we'd been lucky with our selection of hotels on Booking.com. But, I suppose there comes a time when luck does run out as far as hotel selection is concerned - ours just run out here in Saigon.

We tentatively inched down the alley, a couple of massage parlours dominating the businesses that flanked our progress, surely, as well, nobody would be eating street food down here - they were! We still couldn't find our spot although there were other places refuting to be hotels and we did see other westerners. They were probably looking at us and thinking they looked as shell shocked as us a few days ago.

Eventually Lynn spotted our guesthouse, we were told immediately to take off our shoes and to produce our booking sheet. The details were on my phone, I showed my credentials to the manager, a stern looking woman and we were shown up to our room, or, shoe box as I came to call it. One thing didn't take place though, strangely enough; we weren't asked for our passports. At last, I thought, we are now anonymous from the prying eyes of the communist state - small victories - eh!

The stairs resembled those found in a lighthouse, it was also dark, the stairs were dark, I was wearing sunglasses and...well you can imagine it could have been a recipie for disaster. It nearly was! The room certainly was. If you'd had that proverbial cat, you deffo wouldn't have been able to swing it. the room was a shoebox, the bathroom was a phone box and the balcony was a match box, we did however have a room with a view - the view of everyone else's rooms down the narrow street.

We were left to ourselves, shut the door, dumped the gear on the bed and just laughed - what more could we do as we explored the tiny space to discover no loo roll, no plug in the sink and no peace from the ancient, rattling air con machine. Oh well, at least it wasn't raining.

Our first priority as always on these early morning flights was to find breakfast. I'd clocked a joint called the Champions Sports Bar, jostling for early morning customers with all the other...sports bars. It was, thank the Lord, the first good news of the day. It was clean, the food was decent and the coffee was good, we'd found our new local.

It was over breakfast that we made our first radical decision of the trip. Due to our visa getting close to running out and the fact we had a trip over to Australia to plan and the added time constraint of my sister being away from Bangkok on her Easter break - we decided to miss out Cambodia during this first phase of the journey. That meant we would have to knock a day off Saigon meaning we would need a flight back to Bangkok. Originally we would have been transiting through Cambodia and crossing the border into Thailand by coach.

After breakfast we went next door to a travel agency who could get us a flight out on the Saturday, in the morning at £100 each. I went to the hotel for our passports while Lynn waited on the street. On my return she suggested we get a price quote from the Air Asia office right next to our alleyway , they offered us a flight at £30 less each but on the Friday morning at that price, a no brainier, we booked there and then. (Air Asia are the Easyjet of this region). 

Armed with Google Maps on the phone we went for our first wander through Saigon's hot and sultry streets using our new found scooter avoidance skills, honed in after Hanoi, Hoi An and Nha Trang - hit us if you dare pal! 

Pesky scooterists!

Our street.

Our Alleyway

Our room

Our view

The high building is where we would have liked to have stayed!

We're busy doing nothing!

Our first full day began with breakfast on the rooftop dining area, don't think we've gone all posh though, the laundry is done up there as well! It was a bland plate of scrambled eggs and baguette for me and an omelette for Lynn, coffee was almost undrinkable - time to find a decent cup somewhere.

After a quick walk round the block we found a bar called Booze Cruise - looked like an Irish bar, owned by an Aussie - par for the course then. We got something resembling an almost decent cup and then proceeded to the beach.

Our days were spent virtually the same for four more, indeed, we were classing this as a rest from all the frantic travelling of the previous three weeks. We actually chilled, can you believe it?

During the time by the sea we established some sort of pattern of breakfast, beach, shower, eat snack (bought from mini mart along with beer and wine), me write blog - Lynn read book: out for food at about 7. Why bother with anything else, we are now semi-retired, during this bit of the trip it just began to sink in.

One memorable meal was the fish BBQ at Aurora along the seafront. Basically, for £7, you are sat at a table with a cut out hole in the middle containing a BBQ. You go to a buffet counter, fill a plate with fish and meat. Fill a pot with veg. Take it back to the table and cook away. Repeat as many times as you want - easy.

Some of the meat on offer was a bit ropey though. Frog and pigeon were some of the more unlikely choices and of course there was crocodile, quite fishy actually. Hope ours hadn't been fed on human!

Another place we ate was at The Sailing Club, just behind our sunbathing area and a place we had considered too swanky for our budget. Nevertheless, our money was as good as anyone's and we had some great local food in there one late afternoon - the toilets were better than our hotel as well.

We took breakfast in there on our last full day, well, there's only so many bland eggy breakfasts a couple can handle.

That evening we tried Galegal, a Vietnamese restaurant where street food is cooked inside - it was fantastic and authentic. I even tried the countrywide favourite dish Pho Bo, Google it!

We finished up in Booze Cruise. It had become our local, late evening hangout, as the staff all made us welcome. The meet and greet girl was Rose? We found out her mother lived in Doncaster, as you do as an ex-pat Vietnamese woman in England! All in all, good craic, ropey toilets though!

Sadly another early night beckoned as we were up for the 5.30am taxi to the airport. Destination, Ho Chi Min City - Saigon In old money.

All you can eat, and, cook it yourself

One day the sea was a bit rough

Typical - Russians posing behind my selfie.

Beachside - still building the place though.

The Sailing Club

Typical Doncaster lass - Rose!

Oh we do like to be beside the seaside!

Half past four is a bloody early time of day to get out of bed - required, owing to an early flight out of Da Nang to Cam Ranh, the airport that serves the seaside resort of Nha Trang.

The taxi, flight and transfer at the other end had been organised by the efficient staff at The Prince, we said goodbye to a bleary eyed manager and were on our way.

On the way we observed hundreds of people doing their early morning work outs. Tai Chi, aerobics, running or, just walking vigorously ( or not so,). What an interesting sight it made at 5.30am. Now there's a great way for the NHS to sort the state of the nations health out - take the mobility scooters off the slackers and make them excercise in the mornings.

Da Nang airport was busy at 6am, it was also busy getting an extension built. Mark my words, this will be the place to be in Vietnam in years to come.

Safely through check in we hung around departures, complete with Burger King and boarded a half empty Vietnam Airways flight. We were up and down in just over 45 minutes and landed to a rather warm 27 degrees and sunny - time to hit the beach.

The road to the resort starts off skirting new and partly built holiday complexes, climbs into the hills then twists down to the town Italian Job style, the view over the various bays is worth it though, even if the driver is mad and trying to overtake everything in sight.

The high rise that greets you has a look of a Spanish resort. There is a dual carriageway running the whole length of the sea front, immaculately manacured gardens all palm trees and topiary line the road with golden sands stretching for miles - clean, tidy and managed by the various hotels that line the frontage.

We came down to earth when we pulled up in front of our hotel, just under five minutes from the beach, for the first time we thought Booking.com had let us down. The manager seemed surly, there was no welcome drink, cooling towel or briefing on local attractions. We handed over our passports, collected the keys and took the lift to the 7th floor of the St Pauls Hotel.

Our room was tired looking but clean and tidy, the fridge worked, there was a jacuzzi (which we never used) as it took us 2 days to work out how to get hot water. Once again, no plug in the sink and loo roll was a bit scarce, but hey - this was their deluxe room, it was the only one with a balcony, the air con worked and it was only £6 a night per person with breakfast. (Worse would come later!)

So, at 9am on a hot Good Friday morning we strolled into the Fashion Cafe adjacent to the hotel and got our first taste - of  - Russians. It seems like a lot of things in this town are owned by them, this place included. So, after reasonable baguettes, poor coffee, and questionable service we tottered off for a recce of the place - beach here we come.

Our nearest set of beach beds and parasols were managed by the Star Hotel, a massive high rise on the corner of the main road and turn off to our humble digs. It was just over three quid to rent a bed, towel and parasol for the two of us all day. What a bargain. Plus, tipping the lads, who pocketed the money themselves, ensured they looked after us all day. Another hotel ran a beach bar to get the all important cold drinks from so what more could we want. Now to just slap on the sun cream and enjoy five days of bliss. Sorry to all those back home but on this phase of the tour we are NOT roughing it too much! 

That first evening we strolled along the prom to a beach-facing, multi storey shopping centre, just for a look. We passed by a BBQ joint selling crocodile. I mean, a fully skinned, legs on as well, fully fledged croc. They leave on the head so you can tell it isn't a large lizard!

We discovered a fancy eatery on the fourth floor complete with its own swimming pool so as you do, I ordered a T Bone exported from Oz and Lynn had the stuffed chicken. I told you we weren't roughing it.

We slept well the first night apart from the noise of the construction sites (working round the clock) and the barking dogs. Still, I've heard worse through the night on Lancaster Road.

(In the next post I'll explain what else Nha Trang has to offer)

Da Nang Airport departures

Great beach

At least we had a balcony - the sea is behind me!

Hoi An, town of a thousand lights - and tailor's shops!

Wednesday 23rd March

The front desk greeted us in style at the Prince Hotel. Our bags were put aside and we received a complementary drink and ice cold hand towel, then the sales pitch began.

" We have many excursions for you to go on," said Miss Than. She had been the lady I'd been in contact with in Hanoi regarding the taxi transfer from Da Nang. A lovely young girl, dressed in traditional costume and probably able to charm the birds from the tree as she went into a well rehearsed mantra of visiting caves here, mountains there and then we got on to the subject of tailoring.

Hoi An is world renowned for its clothes making and they can whip an outfit up for you in about two days. She gave us a card for a place called Be Be's (discount and free taxi service to the shop), we said we'd let them know!

The room here was lovely and clean with a balcony, the hotel itself small compact and again exceptionally clean - Booking.com were pulling some rabbits out of the hat for us as far as accommodation was concerned. (We only paid £44 for the two nights with breakfast)

That afternoon we took a taxi to Am Bang beach to get a bite to eat. The place was packed with holiday makers but there were enough restaurants beach side to choose from. We had typical seafood fayre however the crab was very difficult to get into, especially as they gave us a set of those nutcrackers you get at Christmas as we attempted to break into them.

A young street hawker sat with us and persuaded us to part with some money for costume jewellery. She was called Li and she said she could only dream of travelling like us but just can't make enough money. Her fantasy, she said would be to travel to London, the US and Canada. We would learn more about Vietnam later.

That evening we took a cab into the old heritage centre of Hoi An where you couldn't move without somebody trying to sell you something or get you to go into their shop. Suits, dresses, shoes, handbags, cafes, restaurants, all plying for your business. We made it unscathed and with our money safely tucked away in our wallet down to the Thu Bon River. " You want boat trip, sir, Madame." Even here we couldn't escape the salesmen.

The riverside vista was beautiful, we'd missed the lanterns floating on the water though, that only happens on a Tuesday according to people we asked. At night though it doesn't matter if there are lanterns floating on the water or not, it's such a beautiful place with most buildings and streets lit up by some form of light.

One advantage to being in the old town was the lack of cars althought the ubiquitous scooters, motor cycles and push bikes were still a danger to life and limb. We found a place called the Rice Bowl to gather our thoughts and consult Wi Fi as to the whereabouts of the Lonely Planet recommended Dive Bar.

As the Internet revealed, it was on the street outside the rear entrance of where we were sat. We also discovered the Hoi An old town is completely wired up for Wi Fi. Just register and you are instantly online.

It was a great vibe as you entered the Dive Bar with a DJ playing reggae sounds, backpackers occupying the sofas, people playing pool and a Carribean style back bar where we ordered draught Tiger at £2 a pint and cocktails at £3. It was one of those places you discover on holiday or travelling and think - this is going to be our spot for the time we're here, and so it was.

The following morning we received confirmation of our flight from Da Nang to Nha Trang. We could have done it on the train but that would have meant a whole 8 hours wasted, the flight was only an hour and it only cost £50 each.

We walked into town as the weather was cloudy (still warm though). It took us 20 mins to get to the river, good excercise! We spent the day just exploring the old town by day and buying a few lanterns. Well, Lynn has a new house to decorate in Spain. 

We nipped into the Dive Bar for a pre-lunch refresher. There we spoke to one of the staff who are always inquisitive as to where you are from. Eventually she told us she envies us as in her words, "you have a choice in the west, we have nothing here." She went on to explain the average wage is $200 a month in Vietnam but they think all us foreigners are all earning over $4000 a month so can afford to buy everything. At least she did have a decent job there in the bar.

Lunch was taken in the very French Cargo Club complete with its own patisserie - it was sampled, don't you worry!

Near the famous Japanese covered bridge we spotted a bride having her hair done for he wedding - in the street. We wished her and her future husband well, you just wouldn't get that back home.

We walked back to the hotel, packed for the next day then walked back to have one more night admiring the lights along the river and a few drinks in the Dive Bar. It was back fairly early as our taxi to Da Nang airport was booked for 5am, next stop - beach time in Nha Trang.

Lynn tests out the funky seat in the hotel garden.

An Bang beach

Lanterns on sale everywhere...

...and clothes.

The riverside

Lots of French colonial buildings

The happy couple

Stop me and buy one

The Cyclo's are a sedate way to get around

Last Train to Da Nang Central

Tuesday 22nd March

Our tour bus dropped us opposite the Royal Palace Hotel in Hanoi, the manager having arranged for us to leave our bags securely whilst waiting for our train at 10pm. Road negotiated and bags secured we set off into the centre of town to find somewhere to hang out for a while.

We came across a place called Le Pub. Okay, I know it sounds French and we all know they have NO rules but it looked okay and the beer was cheap. They also had decent wine so Lynn was happy. An hour later we made our way to the Long Bar for a quick bite to eat and perhaps just a bit too much more to drink.

Back at the hotel our taxi arrived to take us to the station. I noticed in the traffic the bell boy from the hotel was following us on a scooter. He met us at the station (he paid for the taxi), he then took our heavy bags and ticket confirmation and led the way to our train. Halfway along the carriages he was stopped by an official of the railway company (the government). She gave him our tickets and it seemed we'd been moved into another carriage.

As it was, we'd been put into a four berth but with only us two in it. Another plus is that it had a sliding door. Sadly though the toilets left a lot to be desired. With great efficiency we pulled away on time - we both got our heads down immidetly- it had been a bloody long day.

The journey was as fitful and jolting as the last overnight we did from Bankok to Chiang Mai, with a fellow constantly shouting outside the door and the stations being announced over the tannoy. We kept our strength up with packets of Ritz Crackers we'd bought earlier, sweet wafer biscuits and water was provided from the railway. Sleep was hard to come by as well as any indication of a buffet car.

We woke bleary eyed at about7am, travelling through a ravine which soon opened out to a countryside view. Rice, corn, ducks and buffalo were to be seen en-route as well as many cemeteries, some strikingly military. Yes, the war ended just over 40 years ago, with both military and civilians taking thousands of casualties.

The first station we stopped at was Dong Hoi, I asked someone! We were then on time and heading for Hue where we passed over the Purfumed River to get to it. (It was featured in the film Full Metal Jacket). The weather at this point was still dull and damp at the point where we were still over two hours from DaNang. By the way. The fellow shouting outside the door most of the night was offering refreshments. We had a coffee to wash down the last of our crackers - if only we'd opened the sliding door.

At an hour away we began to see the South China Sea as the train teetered along the cliff edges, waves crashing onto the rocks below - a damp mist covering the horizon; a bleak view.

We came out of a tunnel to an unknown phenomenon. Bright sunlight made us squint, but with pleasure. Rocky coves, palm fringed sandy beaches; it all looked good - hello sunshine, where the hell have you been for a few days? It was unspoilt beauty that lay out below us, sad to think that in ten years it might just be another resort.

After going through another long tunnel it was apparent we'd decended as we were level with lots of fishing boats bobbing around in the blue water. Disturbingly we were almost in the front gardens and front rooms of houses that were way too close to the track.

Just before arrival we saw a huge pagoda and marble statue as we passed a level crossing, welcome to Da Nang and a warm 27 degree lunchtime.

A driver was waiting for us holding up a paper with my name on. The hotel in Hoi An had emailed me in Hanoi when I'd made the booking, very efficient! He negotiated the busy streets around the station and soon we were whisked across a huge road bridge, one of many that cross the Han River; once an important navel base for the USA during the Vietnam War.

We were now on the coastal road where it was evident lots of money was being ploughed into this city. Five star hotels including the Crowne Plaza dominated the shoreline with a Sheraton being built and other holiday villages both occupied and in progress spreading all along the road to Hoi An. This is deffo one of the new places to be in the world - investment- could be Russian?

It only took 35 minutes for the transfer and we turned off right to Hoi An, just opposite the An Bang beach, we made a mental note to visit it. There were so many tourists on push bikes and the land had flattened out to rice fields I suddenly thought I was in Holland and not Vietnam. It seems every hotel in town offers free hire of them.

Within minutes we were parked up outside the Prince Hotel, approximately 20 mins walk or 8 min cycle from town. Our bags were carried in for us, the taxi was on our hotel account so we tottered into reception to await the obligatory tourist briefing.

Le Pub

Hanoi station, a bit grim at 9.30pm

Breakfast on board

A misty view, early morning.

Time to catch up on the blog

At last - the sun!

A little bit close to the edge?

Nearly there 

A pearler of a trip to Ha Long Bay

Monday 21st March

We awaited our transport to take us to Ha Long Bay after breakfast, saying goodbye to the staff of the Royal Palace Hotel. Being first on the mini bus we camped out on the back seat as our guide for the journey, Tom, informed us how many were coming.

Driving through the Old quarter we picked up other travellers from different hotels. Some of the streets were winding and narrow. A street of a hundred coffee retailers, kids clothes, bamboo, motorbike parts. Virtually everything you wanted in life.

Out into a more affluent part of town we strayed to pick up a family of - Iranians. They were staying at the Metropole not a place we could afford; he must have been well connected to the ayatollah? And finally: we were free of the city and its mad traffic, heading down a dual carriageway flanked on either side by verdant, green crops; Vietnam's wholesale greengrocer and also plenty of duck ponds. 

The journey time was three and a half hours, hard to read or even write this blog as the bus braked and lurched from side to side as our driver considered it a challenge to overtake everything in sight. The small towns we passed by were grey and grubby in the rain, hardly anyone about but as we saw plenty of huge factories we guessed most folk were working. Funniest thing we saw at one point was a man on a motorbike with his child and a dead cow strapped to the back - only in Vietnam.

There was an obligatory toilet stop halfway. This was conveniently at a sort of factory outlet store where to get to a cup of coffee you had to walk through a production line of disabled people all engaged in handicrafts. Salesmen and women jumped out at you from both directions - "No pal, I'm not paying £100 for a tapestry - I don't care if the artist is disabled!" I'm sorry, I didn't sign up for a visit to a shop, we're going to Ha Long Bay.

We disembarked at the harbour after that horrendous drive to be met by a flotilla of cruise ships anchored out a few hundred metres away. Our operator was Starlight Cruises, although others are available. We were all taken out to the ship on a tender that was eventually tied to the rear of our floating hotel and we were given a welcome brief in the dinning room/bar. Our fellow passengers weren't bonding as well as our shipmates on the Meekong cruise but we did start to make some friends.

A giant Samoan, Mike, a citizen of the States and his wife, four Estonian lads, an Aussie couple from central New South Wales ( he'd worked in Odstock Hospital near Salisbury, we found out) and some Germans became on talking terms with each other - the Iranians kept themselves to themselves.

Lunch was a constant flow of food to the table, all local and all tasty. Lynn and me decided to ditch the trip  out to the caves afterwards and snook down to our cabin for a siesta. We were the first ones to the bar at 5 pm for Happy Hour, well, you do - don't you?

There then followed a masterclass in making hot spring rolls, well, Lynn was in catering, followed by another gargantuan evening meal. That accomplished it was time for a splash about in the jacuzzi before heading back up to the bar to help Mike and his wife celebrate their 3rd wedding anniversary, ably assisted by the Estonians and the Germans. Oh did I have fun!

Early next morning it was Tai Chi on the poop deck. It had seemed a good idea the night before but when that alarm went off at 6am all sorts of things went through our minds such as bugger that! We prevailed and met other bleary eyed shipmates up top. Actually it was quite invigorating and set us up nicely for breakfast, after which I went off on the tender for a trip to a fishing village.

You may be now asking, dear reader, when is the old git going to explain where the hell he is in the world and what's so special about it. I could at this point say Google it, and you may well do so.  All I can say about this UNESCO Heritage site is - breathtaking. Over 1600 individual large and small islands make up this amazing natural phenomenon and on the trip we cruised ever so slowly around many of them. Waking up in the morning was surreal as we turned on the anchor, looking out of the picture window of the cabin at rock formations that have taken 500 million years to form - purely magical, whatever the weather.

What our guide failed to tell us about the trip to the village (there was also kayaking available, stuff that,  I've done that in the army, it was rubbish) was that it was a floating village, actually several plus a visit to a pearl farm. We got off the tender onto a floating pontoon and piled into small boats that were rowed by one tiny person, ours was female - how the hell was she going to power our craft with seven heavy arsed westerners in it?

I imagine thousands of years ofrowing these  boats to fish has given the people a genetic advantage over mere mortals like us. Apparently it's all in the leaning forward, not in the shoulders. That sounded logical as if it were the other way round these rowers would be great golfers!

At the pearl farm I was glad I hadn't brought my wallet. The average necklace was £375. A pity because it's Lynn's birth stone - she'll be waiting until our next trip here for one of those!

Back on board Starlight Cruises we packed our bags, vacated the rooms and had another massive meal before leaving. It had been a magical cruise around natural features many could only imagine visiting. If you do ever get the chance to visit Vietnam, come to Ha Long Bay, you'll not regret it.

All that was left now was that horrendous drive back to Hanoi, factory outlet included, and for us the prospect of an overnight train at 10pm to Danang for onwards transportation to Hoi An.

The ship as seen from the tender.

Dining room and more importantly - the bar!

Lunch - day 1

We joined a flotilla of ships cruising round these stunning islands

A floating fishing community on Ha Long Bay

Come on - give us a smile.

That's better.

Now, put your back into it.